Encore in Bizzaro World

I really have to lol, I follow up the best day of the year with the worst. O well, there will probably be many swings better and worse than today. I played like shit, just wasn't feeling it I guess. I have been in a hu slump for quite some time now, but towards the end I think I am starting to get my hu game back. Although my hu results haven't been terrible thus far in this slump, I really don't feel like I'm playing my best in that I constantly question my decisions and I am just not in a great mental state. Hopefully I can make a few adjustment, but I think the main thing is I've lost some of my aggressive nature and been waiting for the nuts and playing scared. No more of that, I'm going to play with confidence and conviction and if I get beat, I get beat.



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Grind and Grind

I'm really proud of how I played today. I think today was the best day of the year and is really filling me with confidence for the rest of this summer. I had my ups and downs, and at one point was astonished at how I almost lost my composure. The bankroll is a bit more stable now, so hopefully there will be many encores. There are many things I need to work on in my game, but I also need to produce now to pay for rent and such. I also really want to play in a few more tournaments and might just start this weekend. I only got 5 hours of sleep too last night because I had to get up for summer school, and I was about to take a nap after a quick session. I quickly dropped two buyins in hu so I had to get it back and I just felt like grinding I guess. Some days, you just feel it.



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When Will I Learn

No, I couldn't make a miracle comeback yesterday and ended up in the red for o about 470 dollars. My mindset was broken and I dropped 2 buyins in Omaha too, but to be fair I lost a monster 180 dollars pot in Omaha when I had top set and committed half of my stack on the flop. I don't know how I would have played it any different other than perhaps potting the flop instead of 3 quarters of a pot raise, but I wanted the draws to chase. I know I was only a coinflip to win, but against two opponents who had each other's outs, I was ready to gamble. Well today went a little better and I think I recovered about 200 dollars in 4 hours of play. It was frustrating because I was in the negative for most of the day because my hu game has been a bit off lately. It's such a hard game mentally as I need to get mentally stronger. I would be a lot mentally stronger if I actually played with a bankroll. The last withdrawal left me close to only 10 buyins for hu, but I guess I gamble at times. It would be really nice if I finally learned and would reduce a lot of stress if I just remember always protect my bankroll. The bankroll is like a moat for my fortress, tilt happens less with a bankroll and the house always needs a fortress to do business.

I HATE AP!!!

Everything is going wrong today, I'm down 7 buyins currently. I am very motivated to grind it out however, which could be a good thing considering the bbj stands at 987k right now. ONE TIME DEALER! Well, I guess I was having a good run out AP my last two sessions and perhaps I got overconfident today. I think I'm playing decent today, but when you keep getting qq and your opponent has kk, it is hard to win. Or getting a river that gives your opponent the full house a10 beating your ak 2 pair for a monster 180 dollars pot. OK time to stop bitching and start working.

Donkey's Tale

http://dahhuilaudavid.blogspot.com/2008/06/donkeys-tale.html

Good read, and reminded me of poker which always reminds me of life. You just gotta keep going. I've been grinding hu pretty hard the last 2 days and the swings are sick, I'm just glad I'm putting in the time and I can see how much I need to work on my game before moving up. I am also running amazingly well in Omaha, I now see where those really absurdly high winrates in that game come from. I think I'm playing decent, not great, some really good calls, but I AM RUNNING LIKE GOD. It's funny how I can feel that I'm playing so well and run poorly and lose money while I can also play decent to mediocre and run like god and make money. Life is so unfair, but I can tell you one thing though, I'll keep getting lucky doing what I do many more times and get unlucky doing what I do many more times before all is said and done. The trick is just like the story where I'm glad to be the donkey for once in my life.

Determination to be Unstuck

I played like shit today. It is as simple as that, no bad beats, no opponents outclassing me, just me beating myself. I made that up though, by grinding and telling myself I wouldn't quit the session until I was unstuck. I tanked in hu in the beginning and just grinded my way back from 6max. HU is so taxing that even though I felt like I could have grinded on, I didn't really want to play HU being in the mental state I was in. I missed the Celtics game, but I showed myself that I can will myself to get unstuck. I'm not sure if I should have quit and taken the day off, but something in me was just determined to at least break even today. I was hungry, still am hungry, literally and figuratively. (I bit my tongue after being elbowed yesterday in bball so I can't eat solid food right now without feeling weird)




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PLO Meltdown

I had a really bad day in PLO for the first time in a while. I dropped close to 6 buyins total. I don't really feel too terrible, but am frustrated at my inability to focus and play well when stuck. I dropped my first buyin when I had a set of aces and the river brought a deceptive gutshot straight and I timed down and called. Of course my opponent had the gutshot and a flush draw dominated by mine. I misread my cards on one hand and dropped a buyin there. I am not happy with how plo finished out with me today. School is out, I should be grinding tons this summer and am excited about playing in some donkaments. The shootout ended with me 3 spots away from the final table, aj < qq. I learned a lot, but also had enough fun to inspire me to play more donkaments this summer. Seeing that I'm only down less than 1 buyin for PLO for this month gave me some confidence after being shaken up today. I could have won a few more flips, but I also could have played a lot better. I was also experimenting with not being such a nit in that game today.

I love these quotes from Kobe's interview...

How do you guys bounce back from this type of lost?

Whine about it tonight, lot of wine, lot of beer, couple shots, maybe like 20 of them. Digest it. Get back to work tomorrow. That you can do.

Just get back to work tomorrow.

Nothing about beating them 3 straight.Think about beating them Sunday, take one swing at a time, chop down a tree.

Is it hard to believe?
No, I’m a realist. It happened. It is what it is.

I think I can take some of Kobe's attitude onto the felt and try to rise to the occasion. PLO today was a learning experience about my soul and next time, instead of bitching after playing bad and stuck, I need to seize the moment like the Celtics did against Kobe's Lakers and turn a ugly performance into an epic comeback.

It is a Shootout!

I advanced to the 2nd round, but man tournaments are fun. Shootouts seem like sit-n-gos which I've played like 2 total in my entire life lol. I didn't enjoy them b/c I vividly remembered losing both of them to get 2nd when 60/40 or flips didn't go my way. I think I am playing very well in this shootout as I was shortstacked and lost a bunch of flips and standard stuff throughout. I won't bore you with all of my flips won and lost, just the two hands that have me juiced up now.

As soon as it got down to hu, I knew I had an edge. This hand played out exactly like how I thought it would in my head. I really was hoping a9. I guess he could have had jq here a lot, but I was ready to flip. I was a bit worried about a higher kicker, but I decided to go with it.

Full Tilt Poker, NL Hold'em Tournament, 150/300 Blinds, 25 Ante, 2 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter


BB: 15,968

Hero (SB): 11,032

Pre-Flop: (500) T 8 dealt to Hero (SB)
Hero raises to 888, BB calls 588

Flop: (1,826) 9 T 3 (2 Players)

BB checks, Hero bets 1,111, BB raises to 3,000, Hero raises to 10,119 and is All-In, BB calls 7,119

Turn: (22,064) 8 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)


River: (22,064) A (2 Players - 1 is All-In)


Results: 22,064 Pot
BB showed 9 J (a pair of Nines) and LOST (-11,032 NET)
Hero showed T 8 (two pair, Tens and Eights) and WON 22,064 (+11,032 NET)







Some flips later, I get lucky and get this gem...

Full Tilt Poker, NL Hold'em Tournament, 200/400 Blinds, 50 Ante, 2 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter


SB: 6,232

Hero (BB): 20,768

Pre-Flop: (700) 5 2 dealt to Hero (BB)

SB calls 200, Hero checks

Flop: (900) 9 J T (2 Players)

Hero checks, SB bets 500, Hero raises to 1,555, SB raises to 5,782 and is All-In, Hero calls 4,227

Turn: (12,464) 4 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)


River: (12,464) 9 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)


Results: 12,464 Pot
SB showed T K (two pair, Tens and Nines) and LOST (-6,232 NET)
Hero showed 5 2 (a flush, Jack high) and WON 12,464 (+6,232 NET)







Hope to do well in the next round, but o well I'm very happy with how I played in the first.

What is the Tilt Monster?

I've been giving it a lot of thought after reading a specific chapter on it in The Poker Mindset I think it's best symbolized by the monster in the show Lost. It's shapeless and mysterious, but it seems to take the form of the victim's worst fears. Tilt can be many things: it can happen when you take a bad beat, or win. The common difference is that you are not playing as well and you are beating yourself. I think I'm going to beat the Tilt Monster by not beating myself. It's like Stu Ungar said, "Nobody can beat me, only I can beat myself." I don't go through tilt by bad beats when I have a good bankroll anymore, but I think thinking that the guy doesn't have the goods every time, losing focus, and not working on my game is still tilt. I need to strive hard to not beat myself, but force others to beat me. Stu Ungar was right about many things, too bad he never listened to his own preaching. I hope I have a chance to go right where he went wrong in Las Vegas.

Summer and 10 Reasons Why I'm Crazy

I can't wait until summer is here. ONE MORE WEEK OF SCHOOL! Two Finals left. I am going to grind 10 plus hours a day this summer. I have no reason not to, I'm living by myself and roommates, I shouldn't have any distractions or obstacles like parents. I cashed out a bunch yesterday so I will have to build up my bankroll from 500 dollars again because I needed the money for bills. So today, I had an extra credit on my test to write something entertaining and the ta will be nice. I guess it gave me an idea to expand on.

The world thinks crazy people are crazy, but crazy people know it is the world that is crazy.

Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Either Crazy or I'm Right and The World Is Crazy

10. http://roissy.wordpress.com/ Stuff like this actually works? And I'm entertained by it.

9. Free citizens were easily duped to support WWI by 1) appealing to emotion over logic 2) demonize the enemy 3) vague promises of some transcendental values like freedom and democracy Sounds familiar with the US today? The world doesn't change.

8. I will probably vote for Obama because he seems like change, but I doubt anything will really get reformed. He is still the establishment, he is half-white, and who knows the issues he will face in the future. Voting for a man to lead based on his historical views is futile, because who knew George W. Bush would have to deal with 9/11 or maybe even if it hadn't happened, those schemeing cabinet members would have found a way to be in Iraq.

7. I follow the news and always think about how accurate it is and am entertained by the history of how every government sleeps with every other government, US supporting Saddam to the point where he was a CIA man installed in a coup, to capturing him and delivering him to a government that executed him, to who knows what in 5 or 10 years

6. I constantly think that if the Nazis had a source of oil in WWII instead of America having the reserves, the plight of the Native Americans would be more well known instead of Holocaust, Hitler admired and probably modeled his plans after how Anglo-Saxons treated the Native Americans from the start.

5. I know that Republicans and Democrats are the same crooks and both screw the people in innumerous ways, they are both for those who have it already, why are campaign contributions so important? nothing is free.

4. I know I can beat Wall Street despite all the corruption in insider trading and not having the "right connections.

3. I see all the reasons to lose faith in humanity, but I'm weak and inside I always still have a little bit of hope.

2. I'm emotionless to the mishaps of the world and just want to be selfish.

1. I know I can flip coins for a living.

Ran Poker EV

for my hu play for the year b/c I know I've been running really shitty. I got stacked 3 times getting it in being at least a 2 to 1 favorite within 10 minutes today. I know variance is a bitch. So here is the beauty for the year? I don't know what bitching would do, but maybe ftp will notice that I notice they are rigged and know not to fuck with me and hook it up with the BOOMSWITCH!

I'm not sure how many hands are from 100nl and how many are from 50nl. All I know is that when I run bad at 50nl I don't get on tilt as much which is why I haven't moved up...



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