September Wrap-up and October Goals

I finally had my 5k month this month. It was definitely a grind as I never really got going in my cash games. I broke even in PLO and wasn't too happy with my progress in that game this month. I did manage a tournament score that kept my month afloat. Things have improved a lot since the beginning of summer in terms of having a bankroll. I don't have a monetary goal for the month of October. School should be hitting me pretty soon, so I don't know how much grinding I can do. Even though I don't think of school as my top priority, I am still going to have to show up every day and make an effort to appease the parents. My goal this month at the felt is to start playing more at the next level and chip away. I will make a blog post every time I feel like I didn't play my A or B game. I think the money will take care of itself if I just focus and play my best. I really need to get tougher mentally because I really struggled in cash games this month for the majority of the month. I'm still trying to get back into hu nlhe, but again, my mind is inhibiting me from being a winner. I did win a few buyins in hu this month, but when things went wrong, I definitely didn't get my money in good. It's like when baseball anouncers talk about a mark of a good pitcher: he can still get outs when his best stuff isn't there. His fastball doesn't have as much movement, his breaking balls don't break as planned, and his offspeed stuff is off location. When I don't have my best game, I can't win. That needs to change this month. I need to work on focusing and just playing my best regardless of the obstacles.

Stocksdale Paradox

I'm in love with paradoxes. In the book Good to Great, Jim Collins coins the phenomenon that he observed in a lesson from a prisoner of the Vietnam War in Admiral Jim Stockdale. "Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties; and at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. I'm done taking a shot at the next limit and it wasn't as sucessful as I would have liked. I wasn't playing with my natural aggression and seemed lost in many spots. I definitely need to work harder on my mental outlook and rededicate myself to understanding the intricacies of this game. Some days I think it's impossible to not acknowledge the difficulties and obstacles in my path, but in the end I have never doubted that I will overcome them no matter the odds. I realize I'm a pretty big dog in making it as a career, but I just know I'm going to make it. In the poker realm, I'm going to have to start putting more hours at the tables and grinding up a bankroll to take another shot. I cashed out a bunch and I've really realized how valuable a bankroll is so I'm just going to be patient and let time bid until my next shot taking. Hopefully, I'll take it again by the end of October. I'm running very hot in the NFL this season at 7-1-1 and I really think I've matured since my earlier days of putting the bankroll in play every day. I've only been placing 100 dollars max bets so far, but the sportsbetting bankroll is now at 679 from a start of 95 dollars. It's a good thing that the sportsbetting roll is different from the poker bankroll nowadays, and hopefully they will both ballon in the coming weeks.

Taking a Short Break

I always come back on fire after a short break, so I've decided to take a short break. I'm thinking 24 hours is good enough lol. I've been on sort of a downswing and just haven't been able to consistently ride a upswing in cash this month. I had the biggest tournament score of my life a week or so ago taking 6th place and 1.8k. It was nice, but made me more hungry than before and funny how everything is relative. When I was on the bubble I just wanted to cash so badly, but once I got to the final table even being short-stacked, I wanted to win it all. It really wasn't even about the cash, but I just wanted to win. I wonder why I don't play more tournaments, but I'm going to dwell on that my next post.

Reminder

Johnny, stop putting money in when you don't have an edge. I currently am 3-1-1 in the football season, but I bet on the night game because I was "hot." LOL! I'm a fish, what can I do? Stop putting money in bad, pick my spots. I am perhaps in the fallacy thinking I can beat sportsbetting, maybe I can or maybe I can't. I'm not going to stop, because I love a challenge and suceeding.

Paradox of a Poker Player IV

So I'm in one of those things not called a "slump. I'm just not winning pots" and had an ephiphany. I think I've realized that I have the middle ground in caring about money. This doesn't mean I care about it just enough to have a bankroll or not enough to gamble recklessly. I'm polar opposites at all times. In order to be a great poker player, the value of the chips have to stop meaning something. Stu Ungar had a disdain for money. I don't particularly feel the value of the chip. This and the tilt explains how I've managed to busto myself so many times in my short career already. On the other hand, in order to be a successful poker player, you have to manage your bankroll very well to have one. You have to understand that you can buy things with the numbers that don't seem to mean much. Although I've never held down a real 9-5 back breaking job, I understand the value of a dollar. My pet peeve in the world is when someone assumes that I'm some spoiled kid who doesn't understand the meaning of being poor. Sometimes I wonder how I can feel so poor, but everything is relative and I grew up in an affluent community. On one hand, I'm a reckless gambler and my philosophy on money that can best be summarized by this one quote from a great movie, The Counterfeiters: "We can always make us more money." – “Counterfeiters” Salomon “Sally Sorowitsch On the other hand, I'm ambitious and want to have a nest to fall back on and never end up broke and borrowing form a loan shark. A poker player that suceeds must not care about money because he's flipping for money that was never his, but understand the consequences of throwing away stacks of wealth.

August Wrap-up

I took a long break to end the month of August and probably won't hit the tables until tomorrow night. I made just over 4k for the month of August when everything is added up. My best month ever, kinda sad, but I'll take it. What choice do I have? For the month of September, I'm really hoping to step up my plo game and grind. I want to finally make 5k this month. I'm just going to grind it out. Back to business, I'm pumped. I'm very hungry, I very very hungry.

Finsh the plo and Tommy Angelo book
Make 5k
Start taking more shots at the next limit
Stay hungry



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