Grinder vs. Glory

I think that I've come to realize that I'll never be the Mike McDermott of the world. I'm the Knish of the world and there is no shame in that. I'll never have those shots with the bands of Benjamins at the felt or be on High Stakes Poker with Durrr to my right and Zigmund to my left. I'm really content, so much so that I'm worried I've grown complacent and satisfied. Although the positive of that is that I'm really happy, really happy without any worries like a child. At the end of the day, life is good, but I'm struggling with a crisis now. I now realize I don't want to go through the swings it'll require to be at the top, and I also realize I don't really know exactly what I want from life. The absence of an answer to that question really haunts me, but I just want to take the precious moments in the day as it comes. I'm ok with that, because despite not knowing, I feel a kind of happiness money can't buy. At the end of a life, a grinder might not bask in any glory, but time turns all glory into bits and bits of dust. In the brief time that was walked on the Earth, I rather enjoy everything that shouldn't be then fooling myself in the illusions of the truth.