Spring Break Wrap and State of Being

Graph for NLH



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Graph for PLO



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I didn't have a really good spring break. I finished down 494 dollars, but I guess rakeback and bonuses probably negate close to all of that. I'm satisfied though because I think I refound my hold'em game and I know I can do this. It's ironic how every time I'm questioning my abilities, I hit a huge downswing, realize how things couldn't get worse, and then know I can do this if I play this well when losing. PLO is such a sick game, poker is such a sick game in general, life is sick in general, just SICK! I know I can do this despite another break even month this month. I'm going to rock April. Just you wait and watch... I also realize how bitching and whining about bad beats and how bad I run is counterproductive and so is posting graphs on arbitrary timeframes because my career is just one big upswinging graph, but it makes me feel better. Last time I checked, this was my blog and I treat it as a diary so I'm going to write whatever I want here.

"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need" - Rolling Stones

Wake Up America

Wake Up America!

Democracy, freedom, self-determination, a better future
Gospel of the empire
Equal opportunity and zero family money
Says the scions of them all
No feudal system brutalizing the ordinary folks like in the past
Taxing serfs that do honest work
Leaving them with not enough to eat while enriching the ruling class
Back and forth the sheep stray
Like a pendulum and now some say it's time for Obama and Dems to go
Sheep or sleep it matters not
Because nothing has changed and nothing ever will
The best you can do is be an individual against all the odds
Because sometimes dreams are realized
If you are one of the lucky fews
But you have to believe

Wake Up America, but I guess we can only dream when asleep. Is life but a dream anyways?

I believe in America. America has made my fortune... -opening lines of the best movie ever

Time to do work

Spring break just started. Really hope to get a lot of work in, will do a long post with graphs at end of this break to see where I'm at.

Cocky

from dictionary.com –adjective, cock⋅i⋅er, cock⋅i⋅est. arrogant; pertly self-assertive; conceited: He walked in with a cocky air.

I think I've really convinced myself that I'm a lot better than I think I am. I am barely a winner at the lowest games. I might be a big winner without rake, but we don't live in that world now, do we. I'm irrationally confident that I'll make it in this game. I'm probably wrong, and when I am proven to be wrong, I guess it'll be the gods' or God's punishment for the hubris. I wish I believed or know what I just wrote in the last few sentences. I chuckle as I write/reread this post. I'm going to make it, I don't need reasons or evidence to know that's a fact. Faith, sometimes you just have to go with it. Hmmmm, faith is such a powerful noun.

I Play So Good

I play so fucking well half the time. Too bad it just compensates and gets me unstuck for the other half of the time I play. I've been grinding plo a lot this month and am actually up in that game. I'm even in NLHE, I guess I really am a rakeback pro lol. I really need to be more consistent and not struggle so much mentally. I guess I'll take up meditation some time perhaps.

March Goals

First, February was a month where I broke even over 60k hands of nlhe. It sucks. I did manage to play a third of my hands at .5/1 though, and will be looking forward to increasing the ratio to perhaps 50/50 in the month of March. I didn't get as many PLO hands as I liked and played only a few sessions of that. I think this month will be a good one seeing how I have Spring Break by the end of the month. Finals are going to suck, but I'm so close to being done. I just finished a session where I had a (minor)major blow-up in the end. I ran my house into quads, but I definitely know I shouldn't have been stacked, I stopped thinking and went ZOMG house must be nuts! I need to correct that, because when I can make laydowns like that, I'll actually be a winner. I think the goal of this month is to play no more than 10 tables at once in the .5/1 games and no more than 12 tables at once in .25/.5. I feel like the less tables I grind, the better my reads can develop and a higher winrate instead of just chasing stupid rakeback. O well, guess rakeback does pay rent right now. I'm not going to set any numerical goals, just get as much of the money in and as often when I am good. I really want to only play 100nl by the end of the month, but perhaps that's a mistake, I really enjoy playing 50nl because it's really relaxing and the money there is still good.