April Wrapup

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I guess I can't really complain how things went this month. I finished down 6 buyins in PLO and stopped PLO and went on an upswing in nlhe. I think I'm going to focus on NLHE for most of May and maybe PLO if I am playing well. I also am going to make a goal of waking up at 630 in the morning just so I can get in more volume. My goal this month is to play at least 100k hands of nlhe and hope to be ready to move up in levels perhaps. I really need to get myself together. The good news is this month I have started to play hu again, funny story how I got my hu mindset back. Just get angry!

Signs of Rust

So I just finished taking two days away from the game to deal with midterms and realized why people drink. I hate school. Anyways I dropped a buyin in 2 hours so no big deal, but I saw a bit of rust in my game. Not necessarily the big things like forgetting how or when to bet, but the little things. I was so worried about the swings in the first 10 minutes that I don't think I really was playing optimal. I'm just going to some things that I feel I should be aware of in the future when I feel rusty.

1. Could feel anger flushing up my face when the nittiest of regulars was constantly 3betting me.
2. Tilted when an opponent hit a gutter on the river to get my stack, I should've just reraised the turn and gotten it all in because I doubt he was bluffing a third barrel, and I was going to call anyways
3. The problems with tilting and believing I deserve to win, when there is no deserve, it is what it is
4. Tilting when my bluffs just didn't work and getting called down very thin
5. I wasn't up to speed on the action in the beginning and probably should've played fewer tables

I think in summary, I was much more prone to tilt today, but I think I played well in general and will know in the future if I come back after a short break, I might want to start off with fewer tables.

Top 5 Reasons Why I Am Not A Professional or Maybe...

5. I let the swings affect my mood from time to time
4. I don't file as a professional gambler
3. I don't want to explain what it is I do for a living
2. I have way too much fun doing this
1. I don't want to be


Maybe...
5. My tilt control is getting better and chips to me are starting to be nails to a carpenter
4. Pays the bills
3. "Those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care!" Dr. Suess
2. I think about this even when I'm not at the tables
1. I am who I am

I'll Keep Grinding

I realize many have had more success than me in this game. I realize nothing about my results say I can survive doing this. I also realize that I believe deeply I can and will do this. There are many moments where I wonder how I've not achieved what I've sought for already.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up."
Thomas Edison

Here Comes Goodbye

That was the song lol. That's one expensive song to find, 200 dollars! w/e, it's just money, as long as I'm happy at the end of the day.

I Did It Again

Yes, I decided to find another way to fuck up. I'm in a losing streak now, 2 days in a row. Coincidence that school has been in full gear two days in a row lol? Maybe it's just in my head, maybe not. Anyways of course I had to run a bit bad to drop 4 bi's today, but I also fucked up the beginning of my session by multitasking too much. I tried finding some song I just heard on teh radio on the ride back home and wasn't playing my A game. I really need to get my shit together. Well time to search for that song some more, I hate having tunes stuck in my head. I also think it's time to go back to headsup after this Sunday. Hopefully, the bankroll will be at 3k at FTP and 3k at PS. It's at 2.5k FTP and 1.4k at PS right now. Might be ambitious, but I'm feeling like grinding mad on Saturday and Sunday.

The Month So Far

I was having a fantastic month until today. I still think this could be my best month ever, but the month is still very early. School is starting to set in, but I think I just have to stay well balanced. Today was going decent, but I just lost focus and I started tilting. I found a new way to tilt. I knew I was beat several times, but did the illogical thing. There were many situations where I knew I was not good, but I wasn't playing my best. My reads are no good if I don't follow them. I think that's the lesson I've learned today. There are beats that are acceptable, and then there are beats that should never happen. Today, I had many beats that shouldn't happen. I had a k6 trip sixes where I knew the guy was a nit and of course he had a6. Another one where the guy 4bet me yet I flatted with ak and went with a flopped king on a monotone board for 130bb's. The most frustrating one was the ak one where I knew I should have folded the flop instanteously, but once the king had turned, I wasn't getting away. I also misclicked an all-in and ran good for once, but I have to stop misclicking. Another one was 4betting aq suited and going with it for 100bb's despite it being my first hand at the table. Of course the guy had a big hand, he min-reraised it. This game is really like football, a game of inches, or just life. One little thing different here or there, and everything changes. I'm going to play better because I realize I can control the probabilities of the results. Just get the money in good, and everything will take care of itself.