May Wrap-up

May was quite a thriller, I took a shot and it didn't work out. I tilt cashed out most of the roll and then rebuilt it to a semblance of a box full of nails. I'm optimistic about June though as summer is about to arrive for me. (I'm heating up, must be summer) I will probably take a shot at the end of June again, but I look forward to just grinding and getting the bankroll healthy again. I didn't play much hu this month as I needed to get low variance volume in to build the roll and didn't get to play any hands of PLO. Meh, had a pretty decent month for the failed shot I guess, still pays the bills.



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Where in the world

could any job be this much fun. Rakeback pro here... I really have to figure out why is it that some sessions just an hour apart I can win at like 15ptbb/100 and then lose 15ptbb/100. I really need to just constantly be in the zone, because when I am, it's all upswinging...



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Stop Paying Off River Bets

I just want to remind myself to stop paying off river bets when I know I'm beat. Yes, they might be leveling mne some of the time, but I have to go with my read and fold sometimes. They say he who never folds a hand can't be bluffed, but if you never lay down the best hand, you're not a winning player. I'm such a calling station and in love with hero calls. Uggghhh was doing so well and then not sure if I lost focus and started tilting or what... Just started going downhills...



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Hiatus and mistakes are not regrets

I've been taking some time off this week after the bankroll has stabilized a bit after the recent cashout and downswing. I think I'm going to have a great summer, but school has been keeping me away from the tables for now. I also had an ephiphany the other day where mistakes can be regrets, but I'm going to live my life to where they are not. Life isn't perfect, you're going to make lots and lots of mistakes, but how you view them will ultimately determine if they are regrets. Maybe trying to be a professional is a mistake, I really don't think so, but only time can tell. If it's a mistake, it'll still not be a regret in my mind. I took a chance, and if I was wrong, I was wrong. I like that better than the alternative of never taking a chance and always wondering what could have been. The one mistake I didn't make in high school was a regret on my part, sometimes I still rationalize it, but it wasn't a mistake. Just a regret and an endless train of wondering what could have been.

To Be Human

The essence of being human is to believe you have the free will to change your destiny. I've now finished with watching the series of Oz and the issues and thoughts it has provoked the past month has been a welcomed break from the tables druing this downswing. I don't have an answer do we have free will or is everything just destiny, but there will always be extreme examples of both. I guess you play the cards you are dealt, and coinflips are always present. Luck is everything in the short-run, but how long is the long-run?

"The long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead." - John Maynard Keynes

I don't remember how to play this game

I shouldn't have put my br at risk, b/c now i'm downswinging and can't seem to remember how to win a pot. Dropped 5bi's in an hour, tomorrow is another day. That seems like the line too much...

I Took a Shot

and I fell flat, but I don't regret it.



I don't think I played terrible, but sometimes the cards just don't go your way. I tilt cashed out nearly all of my roll minus 600 dollars in my two main accounts total. I'm going to have to start all over again and hope to build it up and complete a successful shot by the end of June. I honestly don't really feel too shocked by it, I'm proud to say I wasn't scared money, but maybe was too aggressive.

Was On A Heater

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The month started out slowly, and then I went on a rush last several days and came back down to Earth today. My mindset at the tables was really poor toward the end. I get in that zone where I tilt by not having the concentration to grind. I should have pulled myself a bit earlier and saved myself a hundred dollars, but failed to do so. I don't think I'm going to play the first event of FTOPS tonight despite just dropping the buyin for it. Maybe part of today's struggle was being deep at several tables and I stopped playing solid and tried to be too creative against other regs.

How To Improve Today's Session
1. Leave the felt when you are feeling not motivated and do something else
2. Don't let the little pots and ev bother you as long as you are playing well
3. Stop being such a hero, solid playing makes money