June Wrapup

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I almost had a 1k day today, almost lol. I was 90 percent there, but sometimes u run well, sometimes you don't. Well my month has been salvaged and I've regained my confidence and am having fun again. Pretty close to shutting down for the month, and really optimistic about next month. I ran pretty well at 100nl today, but I think I'll stay in between the limits as I need to gain stability. Almost cleared the PS bonus, I'm so close.

Video Games and Downswings

I think I should start playing video games and pc games when the poker gods aren't smiling upon me. I really really suck at video games, so maybe it'll remind me how good I am at poker compared to that.

What a dumb fucking game...

How am I ever going to succeed with that attitude? I don't know, but I do know this is one hell of a dumb fucking game. When you run hot, you will make money, when you don't, you won't make money. Maybe some of the poker gods out there can explain to me how to make money when I don't run hot. Funny thing is I'm not even losing. Life is good regardless. I think I need to just not focus on how I'm running versus focusing on playing my game. Variance will always be there, what can you do... Don't play scared.

What Will Give Me My Edge

Talent in poker is often overestimated by people, it's a simple game. It is silly to say someone was born to play poker because anybody at any given moment can get lucky. In order to get lucky many times over and over again, it's fitting that it requires something that can't be measured like luck, the intangibles. I'll do my best to describe what I view as the intangibles for a grinder. It's not the calculating mind or a specific killer instinct that one is born with that makes one a great player, it's the analysis away from the tables, the equity calculations away from the table, the bankroll that isn't put on the table, but most of all, the heart. It is a game that will test you over and over again, it's so simple yet the variance is horrific and I still tilt many a times a day. The only thing is how much and how I let it affect me. Poker is probably one of the most fair games in life, everyone is dealt two cards and follows the same betting structure as the next person. Everyone will get beat up over and over by this game, but in order to succeed, you have to keep getting beat up. That is what seperates those that can claim to have made it in this game, and those that couldn't. I know I will suceed because it will boil down to the will to do whatever to gain an edge. I'll get in more hands, analyze more hands, and protect the bankroll. I may never be a superstar, but I'll be quite content with making something out of the cards I've been dealt. Time will tell if I am right or wrong.

Stan Van Gundy Says

At some point, there will be a moment where your will will be tested and how you respond will determine if you are a winner or a loser. The Magic didn't respond in that moment, and here I am with my moment. This game tests you so much through its swings, when you are running like God it feels like invincibility. Then when the opposite happens, it feels like I can never win a pot again. I still have my tilt problems, but tomorrow is another day.

I Couldn't Lose the First Day of the Month

I'm not sure what is wrong with me, but I hope I will snap out of it soon. Maybe it's just standard variance, but I'm not as sharp as when I was in God mode. I'm proud of the hands I put in today, but am starting to think that perhaps I will do better with less volume and playing when I feel like it/am happy. My winrate is highest when I actually feel like playing or maybe it is I feel like playing because my winrate is highest. Who knows... I should really stop posting these graphs that are so arbitrarily framed. My entire career has been a upswing and will continue to be if I keep working on my game and maintain my composure and confidence through the "downswings."



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June Goal
- 100k NLHE hands
- establish a bankroll so I don't have to worry and can just do what I do best: get the money in good
- stop being such a payoff wizzard!!!
- I feel like I should also reread some poker literature at the end of the month, but maybe read some other books I have lying around, maybe this recent wall is me being burned out a bit. I miss plo and hu.